I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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