Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
