margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
