For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Randomize
