Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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