I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize