North Korea, Best Korea!
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
