her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
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