grandma shit on top of the toilet
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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