Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Ladies don't puke and tell
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Randomize
