the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
