if you like me you must not know who I am
Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
please come you make the beer taste better
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Randomize