I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Randomize
