How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Randomize