Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Randomize
