Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
