i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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