Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
