you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
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