:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
