I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Randomize
