So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Randomize
