she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Just fell off a train. Bad.
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
I think people are normalizing furries
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
