yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Randomize
