Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
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