Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
