What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Sex in the backyard? Check.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
