On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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