I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize