I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
well you can't waste a boner
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
