You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
