How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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