I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
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