Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
