Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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