Whod you bang
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize