I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Randomize
