Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
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