the new term for farting is butt boxing.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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