I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
