But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Randomize
