If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Randomize
