I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
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