Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
