I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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