wakey wakey hands off snakey
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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