singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Randomize
