Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
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