Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
