Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
