hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
They have beer where we have blood.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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