So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
