I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Randomize
