Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
i drank out of a bidet.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
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