We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
