You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
Life is so much better after having sex.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
