I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I think pants incapable of making pants work
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Randomize
