no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Randomize
