So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Floor bacon is actually really good
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
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