That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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