My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
