I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
I smell stomach acid.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
