mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
