We're like a lot better than the average bears
I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
