well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Bang-toberfest begins!!
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
It's shark week go big or go home
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize