She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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