whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Your cock deserves a montage
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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