we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize