Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
be right there i have to get my cape
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
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