I skipped work to stalk him.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Randomize
