Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Randomize
