Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Randomize
