Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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