so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
