I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
