Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize
