Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
