just tell him i said nine months
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
