So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
